WHAT YOUR CLIENTS ACTUALLY ASSUME ABOUT YOUR OLDER WOMEN?

What Your Clients Actually Assume About Your Older Women?

What Your Clients Actually Assume About Your Older Women?

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Sex and the Single Woman at 66: Ageism and Genderism be Damned


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It’s time we had a candid conversation about sex and the single senior, if you’re a person specially.


Last month, I turned 66. I’ve had no age-defying surgeries. Still, men haven’t exactly been running the other way. I possess accepted-but will in no way embrace-the 10 more lbs on my 5’1″ framework.


One morning earlier this year, after we in the 65-and-older crowd were vaccinated, I received flirty texts from three male friends inviting me out. I smiled reading each one, but I didn’t text back.


Like so many aging single women who like sex, I had succumbed to the twin whammy of sexism and ageism. Engaging with any of these three men would require scheming, sneaking and outright laying to the millennial children around. It was exhausting.


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Studies show that women well into their 80s and 90s wish to remain sexually active. For many, the nagging problem is a shortage of available good guys or the dreaded dry vagina. If they aren’t married or in a committed relationship, however, they in all likelihood contain granted up on gender. For others, it’s the tsk tsk of society-and family-that keeps us home, watching Netflix alone.


As a feminist of the 1970s who fought long and hard against sexism, including producing the bedroom a levels participating in discipline, how can be stopped in my tracks by my own daughters?


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I was divorced in 2016 and waited the recommended year before going online. Match.com served up a new variety of adult males who seemed fine to get real too. Still, We decided to indulge. Of course, in the final end, they were.


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Despite my discretion, my daughters caught in quickly. The younger lived with me. They didn’t hesitate to share their displeasure. The older was married and lived near by freshly.


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I was pouring coffee one morning after a post-divorce date when my younger daughter walked into the kitchen. She has been supplied by me my cup. She suspiciously eyed me.


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“What?” I asked.


“You had sex last night.” She spat away the terms and put her private coffees. How could she know? I was stunned. He remaining prolonged before she emerged house, I thought.


= $ =g=# =“ it may well turn out to be viewed by us. You look like someone who had sex!”


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Growing up Catholic, I learned early on you can sin to the high heavens as long as you are contrite and do your penance. I continued to seek and find the wonderfulness of a kiss, a caress, sunday nights an climax on, erasing the guilt by doing my daughters’ laundry on Monday morning.


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For the next two years, I wore lean jeans with high heels and spent a lot funds on make-up manufacturer Rate of growth too! Some took me to wonderful restaurants, others to five-star hotels. By Cindy Joseph. I dated men who were 15 years younger and 10 years older. We went dancing, to the movies and watched the moon’s reflection over Lake St. Clair. It wasn’t all Hollywood-like bliss, but it has been shut down good enough.


My daughters told me I was acting like a teenager. Ever. The more aged informed me she experienced no curiosity in getting together with anyone. The more radiant extended to huff past me in the day.


The sting was not lessened by my therapist reminding me that children, of age regardless, have difficulty seeing their parents as sexual beings. Furthermore, she said, their reproach proved just how powerful the cultural messaging is against older women who don’t follow the rules.


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Indeed, last year Harvard Health Publishing reported on attitudes toward sexuality: “Society is inclined to desexualize older adults. When older adults do express their sexuality, it’s often viewed with derision.”


Eventually, my daughters wore me down. I took my account down from Coordinate. com and allow my bleak expand out. I used the pandemic, as so many people did, to pull in and reflect. I made dinner for my girls and son-in-law and viewed The working office reruns with them. I babysat my new granddaughter and built up my freelance writing business.


“Society is inclined to desexualize older adults. When older adults do express their sexuality, it’s often viewed with derwill beion.”


As I pass from middle-aged to elderly, I consider about how I shall dwell out my final chapter-and with whom, if anyone. I have no clear vision of what’s ahead.


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I do know, however, that sex is healthy, and no intention is had by me of calling it quits. I applaud the experts who shine a spotlight on the inequity of it all and propose solutions. Nor perform I intend to apologize for it.


One such authority is Dr. Sheryl Kingsberg, co-director of the Intimate Vulvovaginal and Drugs Overall health Software at College Private hospitals Cleveland Health care Centre, and past us president of the Essential Community for the scholarly analysis of Females’s Well being. She believes the real way to shift negative stereotyping of menopausal women starts with their physicians.


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“Menopause and sexuality are not addressed in medical schools or residency,” I had been advised by her found in a current meeting. “Most doctors can talk about a smelly discharge but will be not comfortable asking about orgasm. They are usuallyn’t capital taught how to deal with issues of desire and arousal.’’


On average, women enter menopause at 51 and live well past 80. That means many of us could spend one-third of our lives being censured if we dare to exert ourselves as sexual beings.


“Most doctors can talk about a smelly discharge but are not comfortable asking about orgasm. They happen to ben’t paught how to deal with issues of desire and arousal.’’


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During the summer, I ran into a former colleague from my early newspaper days. Subsequently he asked me to get birdwatching. He set up a cycling camping trip and reintroduced me to outdated media reporter contacts. He expected me to supper.


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A week ago, We invited him to begin the last period of The Kominsky Approach over. She stomped into the homely home and, without saying hello, asked him to move his car. We were on the sofa getting cozy when my daughter came home early.


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He left immediately. This right time, I glared at her.


“What?” she asked.


“That was rude,” I said. She started to object. I cut her off: “You don’t get to have a say in what I do and whom I see. Always.” Not anymore. You are expected by me to treat me and my close friends cordially.


Kingsberg said I should have done that a long time ago. We should possess encounter and excitement enthusiasm. “Why, in any realm, should a person experience terrible about the identified simple fact that your woman is healthful and possesses a very good formidable wish? To keep that going is something you should embrace.”


“It’s good you told your daughter to knock it off,” she said.


Now, we need to stand up to the rest of society and make it clear that our right to the “pursuit of happiness” includes pursuing pleasure, no matter our age, gender or preferred position.


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Why Do Older Women Not Want Sex

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